torek, 14. julij 2009

I’m on SALE!

A short word of notice: I know my first ‘’normal’’ post on this blog was somehow about shopping (for all who don’t speak Slovene – and btw you should learn immediately, as it is the next lingua franca of the world – it was about my passion for flea markets, especially in Berlin) and obviously this one is also. So I apologize to all of you who despise the consumerist society we live in (I do to, but hey…those shoes, those fabulous shoes), but I simply have to… Anyway…

Today the big summer sales started. I usually do the shopping the last day of the sales as, strangely enough, obviously nobody likes what I like and I always get exactly what I want in my size when there’s literally nothing else left in the shops. But today was the day when I was the first shopper*under*cover in the stores, gathering info about how many people actually took the day of from work to hit the shops (oh yes, I earn my shoes working as a journalist). To sum it up: nobody, or very few – good for them. So, I was free to wander around, contemplate my own shopping habits, but unfortunately with my visa card in the bag (my normal account of course empty). Before I left home, I’ve made a strong commitment to myself – no shoe stores (I know my weaknesses too well) and no stores with really good merchants (they’re very few anyway). I managed that. But I didn’t manage my lust for, according to my budget, expensive stuff, suddenly at hand (50% or more off). Not really, according to my bank account, but I’ve always been really bad with money. I was really shocked at myself, it was as if some beast has awoken inside of me, I wanted it all, Liu Jo pants, Max Mara blazer, H.Boss business suit, Donna Karan snickers, Desigual stuff to wear in front of my computer (just how crazy is that????). Seriously, like I would ever wear anything of that, where to anyway???? Believe me there is not one single designer item in my closet. But my palms were really sweaty when I saw those snickers … And I wanted it expensive. Hey, it’s on sale, it’s not that expensive… these thoughts were running trough my brain as if I was a heroin addict, hey it’s not dangerous, I don’t have a problem. Up until one very sobering moment. In between the stores one old lady tapped me on the hand, I could hardly notice her, so drowned in my fantasy world, and quietly asked me if I had some change. It was like a slap at my face, and it hurt. I woke up. I looked at her, older woman that could pass as a real lady in that Max Mara outfit I just saw, with that look in her eye when you can feel she doesn’t want to do that, to beg. And for a moment I saw my own future, future of any of us and I felt as weak as never before. I opened my wallet and guess what… it was empty. I felt so ashamed. What is the difference between me and her? A small piece of plastic. I don’t really have anything, but I have this small piece of plastic, that can make my life miserable. Soon, very soon. I gave her a pack of cigarettes instead. And went home. No, I didn’t cry, I wasn’t depressed, nothing that pathetic… I was relieved. I’ve realized, it’s not all that stuff that’s on sale, it’s me who is on sale. I’m on 50% or more off … But I don’t want to, I refuse to be on sale. I got my self a very much needed pair of jeans and I’m sitting here in my old, worn out, but very comfy sweatsuit. And I feel good about myself. I always took pride in that I can pull it off very well wearing cheap clothes and I intend to keep it that way. And if anybody has a problem with me not wearing designer clothes, well too bad… You won’t see me in those anytime soon… You might see me in a nice pair of heels though, but it won’t be Jimmy Choo.

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